You Friend Her, I Don't Friend You

I had a great time hanging out with the girls last Friday. The girls meaning, Gerry & Terri. We had a 3 hours long dinner at YogiTree in The Gardens', polished off 3 starters, 1 main course, a pot of rose tea and a bottle of red wine till the very last drop. Not sure was it the wine or the tea or maybe even the food, we laughed non-stopped till our eyeliner runs. All three of us have come a long way to that Friday dinner. A very long way.

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Before 2001, I never knew friendship like this could exists. How 3 completely different individuals, met thru mutual interest in dancing, and became friends so close that it filled our every breath with enormous contentment & happiness. With it, also come uncountable hurts and betrayal. Of which, over time (a really long time), forgiven.

Friends come and go. Especially those you met thru some hobby classes like dancing. You are together cause you shared the same interest at that very moment. And as time goes, you each will moved on with your own routined little life. And maybe, even keep in touch with some of them, and catch up once in a blue blue moon which will eventually turned to no moon at all... this is just what normally happens.

(2002 Christmas at my home in Court 9)

One abnormality arose admist such normalities early 2001 when I gathered enough courage to sign myself up for a ballroom dancing class. Though we were all from diferrent classes at the beginning, and somehow were grouped together in the same class at then end and that is how our friendship blossomed ever since. Many people can live a lifetime and never find even a single true friend and yet that day, I found two. God must have love me very much.

(2002 Christmas - downing Vodka stick)

How we are able to click immediately amazed even ourselves. Anybody who sees us would have never guess that we've known each other barely 4 months ago during that time. The chemistry, the aura emitted, were unmistakenly those of a whole lifetime friendship.

(2003 New Year - Terri & I @ Gerry's House)

Those first two years was of constant partying. Because of our love for dancing, we used to dance so much. At least 3 hours a day, 3-5 days a week depending on whether there were performances or not. We had performed together with some other fellow dancers for the National Kidney Foundation Charity Dinner, did the 'para-para sakura' for the launching of the 'Para-Para Sakura' movie and even for the launching of the HK version of 'Dance With Me' movie. All, in the name of fun. On days there were no performances, we can usually be found in 'Beach Club', 'Viva' or 'El-Nino'. Those were the days of 'no podium, no dancing'.

(2003 Genting Highlands - Gerry's Birthday. Note the t-shirts we were wearing.)

During those few years, friends come and go. Boys come and go. The three of us remained. We do have misunderstanding every now and then, we do fight. But would usually made up pretty quickly. It was never really serious.

(2003 - My birthday - on our way to K.Selangor Fire Flies & Seafood)

Over the span of 4 years, I think our friendship had reached its peak and began to dwindle. Due to family & career commitments, we met lesser and lesser. Each other cannot comprehend each other's actions. As time goes, misunderstandings accummulated. Unravelling of certain issues created the feelings of betrayal and hurt. The trust we had all along were jeopardised with all the changes. Trashing out sessions can hardly resolved any misunderstandings anymore. We have our own indifferences.

(2003 - At Pan Bakeries after a night out to Little Havana)

To lessen the overwhelming hurt, I began to distance myself. I was unable to digest of why certain things happened. Unable to find the reasons of why this was done or that was said. And worst of all was, I was unable to find an excuse for all the issues so that I will be able to forgive and hopefully in time to come, it will once again garnered a tiny space within my heart.

I think it was sometime around 2005 we begin to drift apart. More issues were unravelled and the initial hurt somehow along the way, had morphed into anger. I was so glad I was out of it then.


Though am out physically, it is difficult to get the brain to understand it. It was sad. Sad to see how our friendship had turned out to be.

(Gerry explaning some financial stuff to us which we asked her to and which also made us yawning away. We are just hopeless when it comes to that. In the end, we just tell her to find something suitable for us, and we'll just signed it.)

Anyway, to cut long story short, one fine day last year, the long awaited apologies finally came. That's all I ever wanted. After that, we met up couple of times. Visitings, dinners, mahjong or plain yumcha... It was not as good as before, but we are getting there...

Until last Friday, when we were at YogiTree, plus couple of glasses of wine later, it felt just like old time. Only then that I realised how much I've missed it. We had a great time catching up and laughing our hearts out. We even started a holiday fund among ourselves for future trips.

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From love to trust, trust to betrayal plus tonnes of disappointments. Yet, we are still able to come out of it better and richer (can't say unscratched though). Let's just forgive and not forget, so that it will act as a reminder of the things we went thru. We have come a really long way.

P/s: You can read more about us at 'Life, Love & All Its Works' written by my dear friend, Gerry.