Already 100 days lor...

Last Friday, I was informed at the very last minute, about 4:15pm, by my mom, that the 'sifu' (Taoist master) insisted that we should carry out PP's 100 days as well as the 'wong san' (blessing of the grave) prayers the very next day (Sat) cause it was a very auspicious day as compared to the initially planned date on 2nd May. Meaning, everything we do will be sun sun li li (smooth sailing), we will fatt lor...

***

That piece of news of course had thrown everything we had planned upside down. We have to cancel going over to my in-laws for dinner at the very last minute too which I am sure dinner had already been cooked. Rush around for last minute shopping for 1st day of the lunar month prayer. Rush home to set up all the offerings and prayed. Then had a quick bite at the food court nearby. Quick shower and off we went to Kluang at about 9-ish. We arrived Kluang at almost midnight that night.

It was bright and sunny (burning more like it) when we met up with the sifu at the 'tai pak kung' temple at the cemetery at 8am the very next day. It was a beautiful morning.

The Chinese custom had it that before we proceed to our ancestor graves, we should pay our respect to the 'tai pak kung' (deity) of the area by offering some joss-sticks & incenses at its' temple which is erected within the cemetery compound. Reason being, they are the ones in charged of that particular cemetery and it going-ons. Just like a 'ketua kampung' (head of village) like that la..

After paying our respect to the 'tai pak kung', off we went looking for my grandparents' grave. Once there, we started to decorate the grave with red ribbons and laid out food offerings across the granite altar. For this particular 'wong san' prayer, we had also prepared couple of treasure chests offerings which consists of clothes, shoes, blankets, cosmetics & etc. The sifu helped us to filled up PP's name on the form to indicate who this treasure box was intended for. I was just thinking then, how do 'they' receive these offerings? Imagined that maybe they are hanging out with their friends yumcha-ing. Then out of the blue.. 'Ting!' The treasure box appeared on their lap. Is that how it is? Or maybe they have some kind of postal service system down below/up above. Offerings that are meant for them will be delivered right up to their door steps. How one arr?


Personally, I felt that people ceased when they breathe their last breath. Full stop. The end. There is no after life. The reason for the various 7th day, 49th day, 100th day and etc prayers observed by Chinese in general are merely to help us go thru the period of loss. To help us to detach ourselves from the deceased slowly. To help us to handle our own pain. To heal ourselves over time. It is painful to just stop acknowledging a person abruptly when he/she moves on. That's why, all these prayers are just helping us to let go slowly.

Anyway, when all the set up were done, the sifu led us thru the ceremony. It was so freaking hot that morning. I really believe an egg can get cooked on the mosaics. I already have the outline of my bra straps imprinted on my back. That's how freaking hot it was. 9am in the morning. The weather has gone ku ku... so, wake up! Save our earth!!!! :p

During one of the interval, my uncle set the treasure chests offerings on fire. In case you don't know, 'burning' is a portal to send offerings to the afterlife. Cool isn't it? They should invent something like that here. That will definitely save us the trouble having to go to the post office. All we have to do is just to put our postal items on our kitchen stove, and set them on fire. Voila! Items delivered! :)

Two of my cousins helped to set up the fire crackers on the rods at the far edge of our grandparents' grave. I am not sure if it was part of the prayers or those superstitious thingy. As far as I am concerned, we did that cause when my grandpa was alive, he love setting off fire crackers. Come every CNY, he would load up his supplies and set them all on the eve of CNY. I still remember once, he was so engrossed or excited with it that, he didn't realised there were policeman standing right behind him when he was squatting down in the middle of the road, joss-stick in one hand, trying to set off some firecrackers. It was hilarious. So this whole firecrackers at the grave thing is just to commemorate him.

After the 'wong san' ceremony, we went home to continue with the 100days praying ceremony. The tension was so high at home that I forgotten to take any photos of the ceremony. The reason as to why the tension was so high at home was totally another story by itself which I might blog about another.

***

Anyway, the 100 days marked the end of the mourning period of PP's passing. The table at home that served as an altar for PP has been removed. Her photo was given a wipe down, cleaned, and packed into a plastic bag together with my grandpa's photo and their wedding photo. Thru a ceremony, her soul/spirit has been invited into our family ancestral tablet. Time flies right. It doesn't felt that long.

***

It felt strange now when it is finally over. For the last couple of months, even though she had left us, it doesn't felt she left. It felt as if she is still around. Maybe cause her photo was there, in the middle of our living room, accompanying us, that's why. Now that when everything is over, altar gone, furniture back to where it was, it felt strange. It is like, it felt just like normal, and yet, not quite normal. . Like there is a void. Not quite certain where... It doesn't feel like PP has moved on. It felt like she is away on holiday like that. The thought of her wont be coming back anymore hasn't quite settle yet. I guess, it takes time to make the mind understand it.

***

Anyway, already 100 days lor... so fast hor? And now that we have already carry out the 'wong san' & '100 days' prayers on such an auspicious day, I guess from now on, I can rest assured that everything will be sun sun li li & fatt fatt fatt! Hehehehe... :) Time to move on with our lives!