Actually, whenever I've been missing for awhile from my blog, it is not because I've nothing to blog about. In fact, I've plenty. But most of the thing I wanna blog about are things that disturbed my thoughts, troubles me, makes me upset & dissappointed. But then again, those are also the things that I can't blog about cause I will hurt people I love.
Well, I don't blame others for the hurt, upset or dissappointment I felt. Many a times, it's me who brought it all upon myself cause of my bad temper (they said), or my laser mouth. All I could have done is just to tolerate the situation and keep my bloody mouth shut. Take a deep breath and swallow every bit of it. Simple. End of story. But no, I've to voice my opinion (which miraculously always got interpreted wrongly), and turn everything upside down. In the end, hurt everyone. And when it come to this point, my burning hurt or upsetness or dissappointment within, is no longer significant. Cause, afterall, I am the cause of all hurt from my smart 'opinion'. I would then feel so lousy and in order not make the situation worst, I'll just shut up, retreat back to my cocoon and curse every bit of my tongue.
Back in my cocoon, I would live on the tiny little happy spots which survived the overwhelming hurt. As time goes, the happy spots will grow stronger and thus I would forget all unhappiness. It's not easy but I know I'll survive. Being an only child, makes the whole ordeal more difficult cause I don't share (or I never know how to). I've never shared my problems or sad-ness with anyone unless until I've a solution to it. That's me. I am like that. So I guess when you have only 1 brain to work with, it takes longer time to fix a problem. :p
Impatientness + lethal tongue is never a good concoction. And it is even worst if you are a person with opinion (all time). Unfortunately, yours truly, are made of all those. I know I am not perfect and I am aware of that. I am still trying...
But then again, opinions are not always bad. It's just that we do not have an open mind to accept those opinions. Why would we think only of the negatives? Why not accept opinions positively? Personally, I feel that 'negativity' is always the culprit to many misunderstood opinions. Why do we always being so uptight and defensive? Why do we not take a minute, reflect upon the opinion in a positive manner and only then, make a decision? Why do we have to always jump into conclusion to think that opinion is a criticism or he/she is trying to hurt us? Or why didnt we think why did a person even bother to share with us his/her opinion?
Perhaps, sometimes we give our opinion is cause we care? And that we wanna make something better? Or that we are uncomfortable of a situation and hope that it can improve by voicing our opinion? Or maybe, for some, is just plainly to irritate and create negativity (that'll be the works of your enemies, not friends or someone care about you).
Anyway, whatever la... I am hungry now. Looks like it requires lots of energy to grow the happy spots. Goodnight.
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