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Sunday, April 14, 2013

Parenting - Expectations & Disappointments

Woke early because of it's beautiful weather, cool & fresh; a result from a night of rain. :)  Felt wasted to sleep it away.
Baked another round of chocolate moist yesterday and had it for breakfast this morning, pairing it with a mug of hot decaf.  Heavenly especially on a cool morning like today. 

A recent happening in my family led me to some thinking.  A cousin, who performed extremely well academically thru her PMR & SPM decided to dropout from college, moved out from her parents', date & live in with an ill mannered-tattoo filled-hairstylist who happens to be a decade older than her.  And now, barely 6 months living together, got herself knocked up and her parents refused to acknowledge her. :(

I thought scenario like this usually stereotyped to people like me - lots of freedom, broken family, hanged out with street urchins terrorizing the neighbourhood, bad influence from peers.  At least that's what my aunties & uncles always whispering behind my back.  That, I will eventually get knocked up and married.  They are right to a certain extend, only 20 years late. Ha!  Hehehehe...

It is sad when parents choose not to acknowledge their child out of disappointment.  Did they ever wonder how the disappointments came about?  Their own expectation perhaps?  I am not sure if I am right, I am, afterall, theoretically still not a parent yet, that, a child has a mind of it's own.  They are not a robot to fulfill our dreams or hope.

I don't deny the insensibility on my cousin's side, she should have known better.  But she is young & beautiful too, seeing things in a younger perspective, thirsty of life experiences rather than being constantly reminded of her obligations to her family or the disappointments which she has caused her parents.  Come to a point, I would too give up and just do whatever I like cause no matter what I did, it will still be a disappointment cause I am not doing what my parents want me to.  You get what I mean?

I believe our duty as parents, are merely just to guide our children on a journey of their own,  lead them from wrong to right, support them when we are needed, filled them with love. They are not our insurance to better life or better retirement.  That, on the other hand, is our own journey to fulfill.

And now, I just hope her parents could accept her as she is, support & love her in anyway they could and that she still have a home to go back to.

11 comments:

mun said...

I would also like a piece of your cake for breakfast - looks yummy! :D

About your cousin, I really hope her parents will accept her and the baby.

May I ask you for your help? Do you know of any specialist who is good in treating thyroid gland swelling? Thanks in advance for your reply.

Redbabe said...

Its absolutely yumny!! :)

Well, I hv been seeing this endocrinologist at SS2, Dr Yap of Klinik Yap & Cheong. It's located same row as RHB Bank, opposite where Sri Siam used to be. Hope this is helpful

mun said...

Hi Redbabe,

Thank you very much for the info. It is a great help. I read the about.thyroid pages and it says must find an endocrinologist who has treated thyroid related items because some endocrinologists specialize in treating other areas.

We'll be doing a blood test for thyroid function first (for the thyroid gland swell) before consulting a specialist. Any tips for the thyroid function test? Things to look out for?

mun said...

Hi Redbabe,

I just realize that my comment before this is not very clear. Just want to clarify that your info is very helpful to me because I know for sure that this endocrinologist Dr. Yap does treat thyroid related items.

Thank you again. :)

Redbabe said...

You can hv a test done at Dr yap. From there he can advise you. Usually look out for tsh & t4 level. If there is abnormality, the level will go crazy a little.

mun said...

Thank you so much! I called up Klink Yap already. :)

Unknown said...

How come you never baked when I was just 10 meters from u...sobs.

Although I was never knocked up even pregnant after marriage...all my relatives had the same thoughts about me being the bad sheep, the one that clubs all day and spends all my parent's money, party day and night, don't like to study.

Time has proven that, it ended up my cousins are the ones knocking girls up, getting tatts, rebelious, crashing cars, drunk, useless and so on.

But some parents are very very unforgiving. My parents told me if I shotgun...they wouldn't want me to throw a wedding party. To my brother, they wanted him to pay for his own wedding if he wasn't working yet. (But now pestering for babies...)

But I hope your cousin gets some emotional support which is what she needs most. Hopefully her parents will come to their senses that it has happened.

Bake more!

Redbabe said...

Wow... u must b bored... thats one long comment. I can answer to that baking question. Well.. cause when you were sitting 10m away, my oven was dismantled & packed, getting ready to be transfer to the new place. Hahaha...

Sigh. . Parents. Relatives. Anyway. . Its always blacksheep like us turn out alright. Hehehe

kelly said...

I am your cousin, Kelly. pls be more considerate... You are a mother now. Appreciate what you have in the world. Is not blaming and looking at the past. Past is an experience in life that we learned. Aunty? Who? Did we do anything to u?

Redbabe said...

Hey kelly :) I missed you!

Well, like u said, a past is a past. Why holding on still? We are all a better person now. How hv u been?

kelly said...

Congratulation to ur newborn little angel. Take good care there. Rest more when u have time. Cheers.