A little sensitivity!

As nothing silly nor interesting happened to my life lately, I've nothing to blog about. I would just share some personal experience with you guys.

Couple of years ago, i went into depression while being treated for hyperthyroidism. As my hormon level was being yoyo-ing up and down, inevitably, it affected my mood & appearance. My left eye swelled and protruded like a goldfish, and my once smooth face was congested with acne. All self-esteemed evaporated into thin air.

I was so tired of meeting people then. Cause they will constantly asked why, what happened & etc. So I would have to constantly explained over & over again what is thyroid and how it cause all the problems I am facing. It would be great for them to show some understanding and keep their mouth shut after the explanation, but no, some of them would have to offer their two-cents...


"eh? sure or not? i see my friends also got thyroid. But her skin & eyes also ok wor... u sure thyroid cause your eyes/skin like that arr?"
(as though I purposely make my eye swelled or plant acne on my face)
or
"I have so & so also got thyroid. But after seeing this doc in this place, ok already wor..."
(as though that so and so doc is a GOD and my doc is a crap)
or
"eh, my friend also thyroid, but after taking this chinese herbs, immediately ok already..."
(crap)
or
"I heard ppl say eat seaweed is very good for thyroid le.."
(crap again)
or
"Eh, eat sea cucumber is very very good for thyroid also le..."
(double crap)


From all these 'two-cents', I ended up seeing a SURGEON for second opinion, who, so & so had seen and miraculously got his/her thyroid condition cured, and wasted my money & time. A surgeon? Hellooo???? The right kind of doctor to see for thyroid is an Endocrinologist.

And I also doubled up my diet with seaweeds & sea cucumber cause it is good for me, supposely. What many people don't understand is, there are many kind of thyroid conditions. All that come to their mind when they heard thyroid is 'goiter'. Goiter is just one of the kind of many thyroid conditions. For my case, what I had was hyperthyroidism, and my thyroid gland is over producing iodine in my body. So, in other words, seaweeds & sea cucumber are like poison to me.

I feel that in situation like this, the best one could do is save their two-cents to themselves if they are not capable of offering words of kindness. If they do not understand the disease/sickness, don't be a smart-ass offering fatal advises. For a person who already have to face whatever unfortunate situation they are in, is already troubled & stressful enough. To add unintelligent advises would make it worst for them. Who would want a goldfish eye or a face full of craters?? So, the least one could do is, be sensitive.

To anyone out there who is going thru any kind of unfortunate event, always stay positive and be strong. Do research and have a better understanding of your conditions. And most importantly, f**k those smart-ass' two-cents!

The end.

So I've been tagged...

I've been tagged by Serenedipity *blur*... Dont know what it is all about and did some researched. Dropped by at Serenedipity's space, copy and paste it here. Just follow the instructions right? Here you go...

RULES
* Link to your tagger and post these rules
* List eight ( 8 ) random facts about yourself.(4 for Mom, 4 for me.)
* Tag eight people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them )
* Let them know they've been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogsStart!!

So, instead of untagging from doggies point of view, I am gonna do it from human point of view. Can ka? I'll do both since I got plenty of time.... hehehehehe

My mommi:
1) Mom loves to blog about her million dollar.
2) Mom hates houseworks.
3) Mom is multi-talented. She is good in everything (except houseworks).
4) Mom loves shopping.
5) Mom can whipped up fantastic meals without trying very hard.
6) Mom loves playing Audition dancing game.

Redbabe:
1) Redbabe is addicted to Facebook right now
2) Redbabe loves to decorate & redecorate her house
3) Redbabe loves the smell of freshly cut grass
4) Redbabe love to receive presents
5) Untidiness drives Redbabe crazy
6) Chocolate & ice creams are Redbabe staple food

Rumba & Sunshine:
1) We both loves each other very much
2) Sunshine: I live to eat
3) Rumba: I eat to live
4) Sunshine: As long as my stomach touch mommi's toes, I am happiest
5) RUmba: Am happiest when I am home
6) Sunshine: Am happiest when I am out
7) RUmba: I love to be chased by Sunshine
8) Sunshine: I love to chased Rumba around
9) Rumba: I am Sunshine's bolster
10) Sunshine: I am Rumba's pillow

I still can go on................ lols.

VICTIMS
Errmmm....... it gotta end here I guessed. All that I know have already been tagged. All that who have not been tagged have no doggies. :p


Goodnight.

BTB Award

Thank you to Serena for awarding my blog the BTB Award.

THanks a million!

Right now cant think of who else to award to....

All those who I think deserve the award has already been awarded.

The rest are not worthy.

hehehehe....

Sunshine & Redbabe's Moment

Sunshine & I sharing a moment together...hehehe :)

Father Is A Source of Strength?

I've recently read a friend's entry re 'Father Is A Source of Strength' (http://www.terencelau.com/2007/10/father-is-source-of-strength.html). What he wrote touched my heart and inspired me to write something about my father. I've been wanting to blog about this but I do not know where to start.

I've never really knew my dad. To cut long story short, my parents separated when I was very little and subsequently divorced. I lived with my maternal grandparents since I was 4yrs old while my mum trying to make a living in Spore. She would visit me in Kluang as often as she could and I would spend every school holidays with her in Singapore.

My dad on the other hand, had only visited me once and that was during my 8th birthday eventhough JB & Kluang is a stone throw away. I've concluded then that he is not interested in my well being and that he is a good for nothing fella who will sell me off at any chance he got. That's what I've been told.

I was told by many adults (other than my mom) that I was very lucky that I dont end up with my good for nothing dad. I was constantly reminded that my good for nothing dad has never contributed anything to my upbringing. And I was constantly being laugh at for having a good for nothing dad by some wicked relatives. During the 70s & 80s, when divorce is still very much a taboo, I am the central of attraction of this taboo.

Note: No words can described how proud I am for having my mom as MY MOM. It is not easy being a divorcee & a single mother in this 21st century let alone during the 70's. And yet, she find the strength to did just what she did. If I am given a chance to choose, I will still choose MY MOM.

Alright, back to my dad. During the visit on my 8th birthday, I ran and hide behind my granddad cause I feared my dad will take me away and sell me off (that's what I've been told since 4). Anyway, instead of taking me away & sell me off for some quick bucks, he gave me a birthday angpow and I replied with a "thank you uncle". As far as I can remember of my 8yrs of life, I've never called anyone dad/daddy/father/papa, so to call someone 'daddy' suddenly just sounds weird.

After that visit, the next time I saw him was when I was 20yrs old. I visited them out of curiousity and also to visit my paternal grandfather, who I was told, was a very pleasant old man. The outcome was good. At least, for the first time I can put names to faces. My dad on the other hand, never really look at me in the eyes or chat with me or showing any interest on knowing me more.

Note: Later on, I found out that my dad kept all newspaper cuttings of advertisement I did earlier for my college without knowing which one of the girls is me. Besides keeping the college advertisements which I appeared in, he also kept each and every news or photos of me that appeared in the newspaper during my beauty pageant later on.

Over the next 10 years, I've visited them a couple of times. Each time, it was the same. He will not look at me or ask questions about me. He would talk animately regarding my cousins whom I dont really know.

My feelings, a little disappointed but gathered that he is not interested. So, over the years, I can't be bothered. Afterall, I've did what I could. So, if he is not interested in my life, I can't put a gun to his head to force him to be interested right? So I moved on with my life.

Sometime late 2005, I was not well and therefore decided to find out more about my family medical history so that I could take precaution. I sms-ed my dad and he did replied with all the relevant info. Deep inside, there is a little hope of perhaps we can keep in touch & that we can try to work out our father & daughter relationship. I am more mature now and I can evaluate what is true & what is not and I am ready to forgive and forget and give him at least a chance to try.

Anyway, the contacts were just that one & only reply and nothing else. If that's not disappointing enough, a month later after that faithful sms, he wanted to borrow money from my mom. It feels like a tidal wave of dissappoinment suddenly hit me. At moments when I am ready to push aside everything else and start afresh, his action confirmed everything that has been programmed into me since I was 4. I told him how disappointed I was and that perhaps it was better that we remained our relationship as it was; i.e. no contacts.

Then one fine day in April 2006, I got a call from my Uncle informing me that my dad has been warded in the ICU and he was in coma. He had a bad asthma attacked. He was in coma and was hooked on life support. During my visit at the ward, I told him to move on and that he had suffered enough this lifetime. He passed away the following week. I went thru with the funeral and strangely, I felt really sad. Many friends came and told me many wonderful things about him that I never knew (or never wanted to know?).

My dad has not always been a good for nothing. I was told that he was once a very promising young man who held a good paying job. You see, my dad was just like any young man during the 70's whose curiousity got a better hold of him. He got involved with drugs and somehow can't kick off the bad habit. As time goes, he just got more hardcore. Despite being a hardcore drug addict, he makes a living repairing cash machines to sustain his own 'needs'. He also the one that cared of his aging parents.

I was later told, it is not that he had never love me nor that he is not interested in the on-goings in my life, he was just too ashamed of himself for failing me. My only regret is, I judged him before giving him a fair trial.

That's the story of my "Father Is A Source of Strength". Its a different kinda strength. A strength that pushes me for better.

Rumba & Sunshine

Sunshine has been very upset since yesterday

because....

from looking fuzzy like this...

she now look like this.

(botak)

As for Rumba, she already used to the crew cut. She has no problem with it. She now look like this.

(botak also....)

(zzzzz....)

Both look like mongrel. :)

TGIF

I am so drop dead tired today. It's a crazy Friday. I've 5 appointments today; 11:30am (Klang), 12:30pm(PJ), 2:30pm(KL), 3:30pm(KL) & finally 4:30pm(Puchong). I am so so tired and how i wish for some booze and numb my brain with some mind boggling loud R&B... just so to relax a bit. And, 'if' smoking is part of my life... I'll keep puffing away (donut shape smoke) :p whatever u called it. Instead of doing all the above, I called up my best friend and blabbered nonsence to her (alternative way of relaxing) while on my way home. Nevertheless, it still works. :p

At home, I just lie on the couch and tried to meditate to relax the mind (focus on the breathing... in.. out.... in....out....) instead of just relaxing the mind, the mind got too relaxed and started to dozed off. Might as well. So I dragged myself to my comfy bed to snooze better. I guess the bed was so comfy that the brain can't help but keep thinking how comfy the bed was and it became all alert again. Damn bed!

Wide awake, i was contemplating what to do next. Shall I go to the gym? Or shall I not??

Redbabe (1): I am so darn tired, I should just stay home and rest.

Redbabe (2): No no no... excuses excuses... Negative thinking... you hardly exercise these days. No good.

Redbabe (1): Well, I shouldn't overworked myself.

Redbabe (2): But exercise is good. It will flushed out the toxin accummulated. You'll feel less tired.

Redbabe (1): ok, ok.... you win. I'll go to the gym!

So, I went. I did feel good. But I am more tired now. I am suppose to sleep early tonight. But I wanna do a gift's tag for a baby party I am attending tomorrow. But once my laptop is on, I can't resist not to blog. So here I am, eyes half opened, blogging about something which is totally different from what I have in mind. I'll just keep that for another day then.

Goodnight guys... sleep tight & sweetdreams. Dont let the bed bugs bite! And have a great weekend!