It is all in the mind

I was provoked by a message today.  It says "... I'm alone, I need to provide for myself.  What would you know?'.  What would you know?  Am not going to go into the details but how would I know?

I realized something.  People tend to judge on a very surface value.  

If you have a good relationship with your husband.  What do you know about being alone?  What do you know about not-so-good husband?  You are just a lucky bitch.  Most of the time, people fail to see that it was not by pure good luck that it happened.  That it has taken many hardwork, heartaches, sleepless nights, pillow drenched in tears, door slamming to arrive where you are today.

If you are living a better than average lifestyle.  What do you know about being broke?  What do you know about having to fend for yourself? You are again, a lucky bitch.  Born rich.  You just fail to advertise to the whole wide world the struggles before arriving at comfortable.  :p

Conclusion is, don't worry if you are a prostitute or rubbish collector today.  Someday, when you are living a better than average life, people will just say... "...Lucky fella.  What does he/she knows?.  :)

Really, a problem is just as big as you think it is.  A problem will not be a problem if you don't perceive it as one.  And life, goes on!

My Boys - I am bursting with LOVE.

I've never noticed how much Gabb has grown until Aaz came along.  With Aaz' arrival, looking at Aaz, I realized how much Gabb has grown!  Since when he became so big? He supposed to be a baby!  You know what I mean?

My baby boy is growing into this little man.  Just barely a year ago, he was at Mickey & Minnie's height.  And now, he is a head taller than them.  He wakes me when Aaz' is awake.  He comfort him when he cries or bully him when no one is watching.  He fetch diapers when being asked to.  He hug and kisses me non stop when he is in the mood.  And just earlier, when he saw mom coming down for dinner, he just went... "Popo!  Eat!"  while pointing to her plate.  Where did that came from?  He is growing up way too fast!  :(  I love him so much I could burst.

I never realize how much Aaz has grown too until he started demanding.  He is afterall, the baby of the family.  Months passed and he is 8 months old now!  The most adorable baby in the whole wide world.  I am never a baby person.  He, simply melts my heart.  His sheepish smiles, giggly laughs, toothless grins.  I can't stop hugging and kissing him.  He loves a good tickle.  I love him so much I could burst.

I don't think I can handle my boys growing up too soon; going to school, college, university, work, married.  My heart ache just thinking about it.  I wish I could stop time. That it stay at this point forever.  Two robust little boys.  To tickle, hug & kiss everyday.  I don't mind the diapers changing. I don't mind the sleepless nights.  I don't mind the hot sun and wish to bring them to swim, zoo, parks & etc forever.

Now I understand where over possessive mother-in-laws started from.  Cute babies.  :p

Aaz is 5.5 months old as of today.  He had a bad fall over the weekend and my heart break into million pieces.  I should've stayed home. :(. I should have declined the wedding invite. :( but I did not and my baby had a huge bruise on his right forehead.

We have been observing him since then.  Ensuring there is no vomiting/fever/flu and that he drinks well and responding alright.

However, no one seem it is important enough to inform me when an odd size bump developed at the right side of his head today (less than 48 hours after the fall).   And the size of the bump increases from morning to afternoon.

With one person, there is only ownership of responsibility.  With two, there will always be dispute in scope of work.  I am depressed.  Seems like with all our provisions & solutions & hard work & sacrifices, things are still not working out well.

Dear Lord, please help me. :(.