It is all in the mind

I was provoked by a message today.  It says "... I'm alone, I need to provide for myself.  What would you know?'.  What would you know?  Am not going to go into the details but how would I know?

I realized something.  People tend to judge on a very surface value.  

If you have a good relationship with your husband.  What do you know about being alone?  What do you know about not-so-good husband?  You are just a lucky bitch.  Most of the time, people fail to see that it was not by pure good luck that it happened.  That it has taken many hardwork, heartaches, sleepless nights, pillow drenched in tears, door slamming to arrive where you are today.

If you are living a better than average lifestyle.  What do you know about being broke?  What do you know about having to fend for yourself? You are again, a lucky bitch.  Born rich.  You just fail to advertise to the whole wide world the struggles before arriving at comfortable.  :p

Conclusion is, don't worry if you are a prostitute or rubbish collector today.  Someday, when you are living a better than average life, people will just say... "...Lucky fella.  What does he/she knows?.  :)

Really, a problem is just as big as you think it is.  A problem will not be a problem if you don't perceive it as one.  And life, goes on!

My Boys - I am bursting with LOVE.

I've never noticed how much Gabb has grown until Aaz came along.  With Aaz' arrival, looking at Aaz, I realized how much Gabb has grown!  Since when he became so big? He supposed to be a baby!  You know what I mean?

My baby boy is growing into this little man.  Just barely a year ago, he was at Mickey & Minnie's height.  And now, he is a head taller than them.  He wakes me when Aaz' is awake.  He comfort him when he cries or bully him when no one is watching.  He fetch diapers when being asked to.  He hug and kisses me non stop when he is in the mood.  And just earlier, when he saw mom coming down for dinner, he just went... "Popo!  Eat!"  while pointing to her plate.  Where did that came from?  He is growing up way too fast!  :(  I love him so much I could burst.

I never realize how much Aaz has grown too until he started demanding.  He is afterall, the baby of the family.  Months passed and he is 8 months old now!  The most adorable baby in the whole wide world.  I am never a baby person.  He, simply melts my heart.  His sheepish smiles, giggly laughs, toothless grins.  I can't stop hugging and kissing him.  He loves a good tickle.  I love him so much I could burst.

I don't think I can handle my boys growing up too soon; going to school, college, university, work, married.  My heart ache just thinking about it.  I wish I could stop time. That it stay at this point forever.  Two robust little boys.  To tickle, hug & kiss everyday.  I don't mind the diapers changing. I don't mind the sleepless nights.  I don't mind the hot sun and wish to bring them to swim, zoo, parks & etc forever.

Now I understand where over possessive mother-in-laws started from.  Cute babies.  :p

Aaz is 5.5 months old as of today.  He had a bad fall over the weekend and my heart break into million pieces.  I should've stayed home. :(. I should have declined the wedding invite. :( but I did not and my baby had a huge bruise on his right forehead.

We have been observing him since then.  Ensuring there is no vomiting/fever/flu and that he drinks well and responding alright.

However, no one seem it is important enough to inform me when an odd size bump developed at the right side of his head today (less than 48 hours after the fall).   And the size of the bump increases from morning to afternoon.

With one person, there is only ownership of responsibility.  With two, there will always be dispute in scope of work.  I am depressed.  Seems like with all our provisions & solutions & hard work & sacrifices, things are still not working out well.

Dear Lord, please help me. :(.

Weight, Scars & Overhaul

I stand at 1.66m and in my early twenties, my weight was yoyo-ing between 56-58kg.  58kg for 1.66m may be alright but somehow I look fat & bloated.  Then, along the way, managed to bring it down to 52-54kg.  It was ideal.  As years gone by, I began to pile on again and reached a whopping 59-60kg.  Weird thing is, at 59-60kg, I dont look how I used to look at 56-58kg.  I actually look alright.  Unexplainable, X-Files.

So I have been 59-60kg for quite awhile; I think so cause I don't have a weighing scale at home. Every year, my new year resolution would be to loose some weight. Every year, the husband resolution would be to have a baby.  It's doesn't jive.  Lols...  Anyway, finally bought one scale recently after I had Aaz cause I decided that maybe I should at least REALLY know exactly how much I weight.

When I had both Gabb & Aaz, I started off at 60kg. Gained 12kg for Gabb and 9kg for Aaz.  For both, I lost the baby weight after a month.  When I had Gabb, I was a little conscious and watch what I eat.  For Aaz, I am eating literally like a cow.  Around the clock.  But mostly are healthy snacks.  :p

So basically I am back to my bikini self of course minus the still a little flabby tummy and tonnes of eczema scars which flares up during pregnancy.  Don't care la... I had two babies!  Who cares about eczema scars :p. Say only, I care actually.  Hahahaha....

Plan to have a body overhaul after Aaz is weaned.  That would be in April 2015.  My scars, my boobs and my etc... Lols...  For time being, I just hope to lose another 2kg and it will all be good. :)

Happy Fullmoon Aaz!

With all the dramas at home, a month passed by too soon. Aaz just sort of celebrated his Fullmoon on 5th Nov (we don't celebrate fullmoon but 100 days instead).  His routine - milk, burp, poop, sleep and he grunt a lot (usually a sign that he needs more burping).

Family & friends has been visiting bringing gifts for the little one.  One of the interesting gift would be the diaper motorbike (top right).  So much effort has been put into it and now I feel a little dilemma whether if I should undo it for the diapers! :p

Once again, we ordered boxes of Fullmoon cakes to be distributed to mark the occasion.  

We have ordered numerous times from Yong Sheng - our wedding biscuits, Gabb's fullmoon boxes and now, Aaz' too.  Their packaging are simple & nice and the cakes yummy too.

Here's a gold chain with a little horse pendant (year of horse) & a big angpow for the little one from my colleagues at work.

And so, it has been a month.  Here's wishing our little one, Aaz, a healthy & happy life and he be filled with love & compassion!  We love you tonnes!

Mantra of the Day - Just Watsapp!

With modern technologies and social network such as FB, it created an illusion that we are CONNECTED with friends/family.  Reality, we are not.  We may roughly know what's going on in their life and that's because it pops up on our home screen.  It's ironic how gaps are widened with so much connectivity.

Therefore, what I did was, whenever someone pops up in my mind, I would immediately drop he/she with a 'Hi, how have you been?' message.  It doesn't take a lot and it's a lovely gesture.  I know I would like that.  Don't you?

Birth Announcement Card

Aaz will be one month old next week!  How time flies amidst sleepless nights, breast pumping, dengue, blocked duct, fever & etc.  One hell of a month I would say!  

Order for 'Fullmoon cakes' have been placed for family & friends.  Reduced the quantity by half this time round as I lack the energy to deliver them all.  Still, a whopping 54 boxes.

Been busy designing the 'Birth Announcement Card' to go along with the cakes.  Isn't it cute?  :)  Already sent for printing.

By the way, I am getting pretty good in this multi-tasking business; while pumping, I can blog (that explains a sudden surge in my post), does banking, design cards, eat, catch up on world news and etc.  I need to save the in-between time for nap.  Pretty good at time management too huh?  Hahahahaha...